In a nut shell, I was born in San Jose, California. My biological father’s name is Arlindo. My biological mother was killed in a fire in Elk Grove, California when I was 6 weeks old.  I was adopted when I was 6 months old and raised by Rose and Bob Craine in Hanford, California.  As I share this with you I will refer to my adoptive parents as Mom and Dad.

Before my first year in high school (summer of 1971) my mom, Rose, reminded me that I was adopted.  She stated it had been a while since we discussed this and she didn't want anyone to approach me without me knowing.  She also indicated that someone was looking for me.  I was confused and wondered why my parents gave me up, but didn't want to worry my mom so I just left the room.

Over the next few years it was on my mind and my close friends knew that I wanted to find out more about my life.  I just didn't want to ask my parents because I was always concerned that it would hurt them.  One day my sister, Roberta, and her fiancée at the time, Don, took me to a car show in San Luis Obispo, CA.   While in San Luis Obispo I visited my godmother Ann, she asked me how my "dad" was and I said fine....oh you mean my bio-dad?  She tried to change the subject but I wanted more information so she told me a little bit about my bio-dad.  I learned his first name was Arlindo and that my mom (Rose) was at the wedding of my bio-parents in the Azores.   I also learned how my bio mom was cooking with a cast iron pan when the grease caught fire.  My bio-mother turned on the water tap and placed the pan under it.  This caused the fire to spread and caught her on fire.   My bio-mother died in the hospital some 11 days later from the burns. 

Two months later I found a picture of my mom, Rose, at a wedding in the Azores, and a man I had met as Arlindo.  I realized that I must be looking at my bio-parents for the first time.  Weeks later Mom and I sat down and told me the story of my bio-mother's accident and how I came into the Craine family.  My adoptive mother, Rose, and my bio-father, Arlindo, are first cousins.

In 1978 I met my bio-father face to face.  I was at work at Sears in Hanford, CA.  I was able to thank him for allowing the Craines to adopt me.   I let him know that I thought of him as an uncle. After this meeting I do not recall having any other concerns or questions about being adopted.

Three months after my wedding in 1980 I received a phone call from Arlindo. This was the first time he had ever called me directly. He wanted to know if he could come meet my wife, Jeannie, and I.  I remember pausing a little, (partly because of the shock that he called me) and saying, "Sure, what about Sunday at 9 am?" He said that would be fine and informed me that he would be visiting with my mom and dad on Saturday. After thinking about this some more, I decided it would be best if I took Jeannie over to Mom and Dad’s for the visit. I based this decision on the fact that Arlindo speaks Portuguese. Mom was fluent in the language, and I knew she would be a big help. I was concerned that it might be very uncomfortable for Jeannie.

I called Mom and Dad and we went over to their house in Hanford. We got there at about 7pm and waited for Arlindo to show up. He never did! Jeannie and I drove back to Visalia about 10:30pm or so.  Around midnight the phone rang. It was Mom. She sounded sad. She stated that Arlindo called, and he sounded drunk. She told me that he was mad at her. When I asked her why, she stated that he thought it was her fault that I didn't want to see him. I reminded her that I had set up a visit for tomorrow morning.  Mom began to cry. I asked, "What's the matter?" Mom then told me that he had called her a "b----." I told Mom that I would address this tomorrow with him. I was very angry. My plan was to punch his lights out. You see, he had just insulted my mom. I loved her with all my heart. Sure we had problems in the past, sure she did not bear me into this world, but in my eyes and my heart, "She was my mother."

Arlindo did not show up at my house the next day. Later that week, I told mom that the next time he contacted me, I would have him apologize to her for calling her such an ugly name. That same year I told my mom's sister, (Aunt Louse) that I would "beat the fire out of him when I saw him next." Over time my anger did not calm much.

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In 1985 Mom was diagnosed with leukemia. During the last months of her life we talked about that phone call again. I still promised that Arlindo would apologize for calling her the "B" word the next time I saw him.

 

In 1988, 6 month before my Dad died, my Dad called and told me that Arlindo stopped by to visit and gave his condolences on the loss of his first cousin, my mom. I asked if he wanted to see me. Dad said he asked about me and he told him not to brother. I was doing well. I told Dad then that Arlindo needed to apologize to him and to Mom’s grave for what he said back in 1980. Dad then asked me what I was talking about. I guess I should have known that my mom would not have told him, because he had a worse temper then me! I told Dad the whole story and knew that he felt my anger, too. I remember it like it was yesterday. Dad was saying, "I understand you’re angry and what he said was wrong, but don't do anything stupid." I promised Dad that I was past the stage of doing something stupid, but I still felt this hatred toward Arlindo and that he should apologize to him as well as go to Mom’s grave.

 

In 1994 I attended my first Grace Community Church Men’s conference.  I opened my ears and heart to what God was saying through our speaker. Dr. Henry Brantt.  I dealt with this pain in my heart. I learned that God wanted me to let it go, and I did. I no longer have such bitterness toward my bio-dad because of his remarks 17 years ago. God dealt with me that night, and I trust God has dealt with Arlindo too.
Prior to leaving on vacation in the summer of 1997.  I decided to let go of the angry I was holding.  I wrote a letter of apology to Arlindo for being so angry with him all these years. I shared with him that because of the love of Christ in my heart that I forgave him for his actions. He received the letter and fell into tears. He has wanted to be in contact with me for many years and I just opened the door.

On September 5th 1997 Jeannie and I with Bobby and Danielle traveled to Bodega Bay, CA where we met with my bio-father, Arlindo. There were many tears and much said after 17 years of not speaking with each other. My father Arlindo gave me a wedding band that day which I treasure as a reminder of my past and my love for God.

 

None of this would have happened if I had not made the choice to follow Christ. I met my father and my family met a grandfather. I have 4 wonderful new sisters and brothers, Toni, Arlindo, Mark, and Christine. During this weekend visit I learned a lot about my mother who died.   My father and I looked at hundreds of pictures of my new brothers and sisters. Then I learned another important fact.  I had another sister. You see my mother had a child out of wedlock that I never knew existed. It took my father 3 weeks to find her phone number, but on September 26 I called Phoenix AZ and talked with my sister for the first time. We spent 3 hours on the phone that night and at 1 am she decided to fly in to Fresno. Needless to say, I didn't sleep much that weekend.

 

Since meeting my family we have got together many times. I have learned much and have much more to learn about myself. The main point I want to make in sharing this story is that you need to follow God and remember to forgive others as God has forgiven you! You will be richly blessed if you do.

 Sincerely,
Joseph (Bob) Robert Craine/Baptista

Son of Rose and Bob Craine
Son of Bernadette and Arlindo Baptista
Brother to Roberta Craine, James F Craine, Toni Fisher, Arlindo Baptista, Mark Baptista,
Christine Schemmel, and Marie Parker
Husband to Jeannie Craine
Father to Danielle and Bobby Craine
A Servant of Christ Jesus