Tia's,Tio's & Cousin Reunion

I am not sure where to start to explain this new chapter in my life, so let’s go back to 1997, which is the year I reconciled with my birth father Arlindo Baptista. 

 

During my first meeting with my father on September 6, 1997, surrounded by my sisters and brothers from my father’s second marriage, I sat at the table with Christine and Dad looking at pictures.  Christine and I asked my father why everyone was wearing black and why such long faces at his wedding to my mother.  His answer surprised us both as he shared with me that I had a sister born out of wedlock! So that was why my mother did not have a white dress on.   I asked if he knew where this sister was.  He stated that he had lost contact with her, but would see if could make contact and get her information. 

A few weeks later both Christine and my father came to Visalia to celebrate Danielle’s 13th birthday.  As my father walked in the door he handed me a piece of paper with a phone number and stated that this was the contact information for my sister, Margaret.  I went to my home office and placed the call, not knowing what to say or how to say it.  I started with, “Is this Margaret?  My name is Bob.” 

 

At first the voice seemed to think I had the wrong number, but Margaret then informed me that she goes by Marie and that she has looked for me all her life.  We spent over 4 hours on the phone that night and she arrived in Fresno the next morning for our first visit.

 

I think that over the next few months I learned that our mother had many brothers and sisters. While I was interested in that information, at that time I wanted to just focus on getting to know her, my father as well as his children. 

 

From day one, I considered this new family to be my brothers and sisters and only did I use the half-brother/sisters title to explain the connection to others.  From time to time in separate conversations with both Marie and Christine, cousins, aunts and uncles would come up and they always let me know that there are many that would like to meet me.  It was never a concern for me as I was enjoying just getting to know my siblings more and more.

 

Recently Marie reminded me that my Tia Estela would like to meet me and that my godmother would like to see me again.  Marie sent me a picture of my Tia Estela and I must admit, as I gazed into my Tia’s eyes, my heart melted.  I knew I was looking at a picture of wonderful, warm women, and I could see my mother in her.  I felt it was time to make this happen and gave permission for Marie to make this meeting happen. 

 

I called my Tia Estela that night and let her know we would be coming.   Though I don’t like large crowds and personally would have preferred a small private meeting, I got word that the group attending this re union was getting large with many aunts, uncles, and cousins.  My bride and daughter asked how I felt about the possible large turnout and I answered that I was ok with it and that I was looking forward to the re union now set for November 17, 2012.

 

My sister Marie flew into San Jose from Arizona, and we set out on Saturday morning, 11/17/2012, to visit a couple of places that I wanted to see.  The photos below document the sequence of my trip to San Jose, CA to Acampo, CA where the reunion took place.  While in San Jose, the goal was to find the hospital where I was born and the other locations I wanted to see, like the church where I was baptized, as well as the church and cemetery where the services of my mother, Bernadette, took place.

We drove around to the location of the San Jose Hospital where I was born on May 25, 1957.  We also stopped in at St. Joseph Catholic Church, where I was baptized on July 7, 1957.  We drove past Five Wounds church, where my mother’s funeral service was held and then on to Calvary Cemetery, where my mother was laid to rest on September 20, 1957.   After some searching, we found my mother’s head stone and were able to do a little cleaning of her marker before placing some flowers to honor her.    This was my second visit here with Marie.  Besides being important to me, I also wanted to retake the misplaced pictures I took on my first visit to San Jose, CA (1998 I think) when I met two Tia’s and found my mother’s headstone with Marie and my daughter Danielle.  This time the visit was with my wife, Jeannie, and sister, Marie.

 

We headed to Acampo, California next to meet Tia Estela for my first time and re unite with Tia Leontina from San Jose as well as my second visit with my godmother, Regina.

 

Upon arriving I was warmly greeted and hugged.  I truly felt welcomed as well as my wife daughter and sisters.  I realized that even though I am an outsider to most that attended, our blood connection was strong and I was  received with honor by so many.  It was deeply touching.  Even more touching, was watching the care in the eyes those greeting my wife Jeannie, daughter Danielle, sisters Marie and Christine.  I just felt very comfortable within minutes of arriving.  I would have to say I felt like I was home!  My cousin Diane was quick to point out that she would be my favorite cousin.  Her warm sense of humor was perfect and a great way to start off the re-union.  But I am not going to assign favorites just yet, at least not until I get to meet all my cousins and then rate them!!!  But for now Diane, is on top of my cousin list!

 

After the greetings outside we entered Tia’s home.  Seeing the pictures on the wall of my grandparents and a very special picture to honor my mother and her two brothers that had passed away too early in life, made me think of Bobby and the boys.   I trust that while I am meeting my family on earth, he is meeting my mother and uncles in heaven.

 

I learned of so many connections: like my birth name Jose, after my Grandfather.  Oh by the way, the church I was baptized in was named St. Josephs as well.  I remembered back when Rose Alves Craine, my adopted mother, shared that they decided to keep my first name with an American twist, to honor my family but choose to call me Bobby when we discussed the story of my adoption around 1978.  Up until then, I had always thought that since my dad was Robert Joseph Craine I was named Joseph Robert Craine.  Later, I switched to Bob in high school and then to J.R. in the work place at Häagen Dazs in Tulare, CA.

While sitting at the dinner table, I took the time to look around the room, listen to the many stories, laugh, smile for all the cameras flashing away, and enjoy a true Thanksgiving feast.  I didn’t talk much with my Tio Julio, but when I asked him a few questions, he was very gracious to answer.  I pointed out a picture I had in my phone to him that I thought was him standing with my grandmother and father, Arlindo.   He smiled and said that was not him.  It was my uncle Manual.  Pieces of my life where falling into place: names and pictures.  It started to made sense, and I was connecting the dots for the first time.

My godmother, Regina, shared how she grew up close to my mother in the Azores.  These little statements helped me to see the connection as to why she was asked to be my godmother here in America.  I learned that my uncle Manuel was very close to my mom.  I also learned that my Tia Estela and my mother where only 16 months apart in age.   I felt the emotions in my Tia’s Leontina as she shared that she helped to arrange the burial plot for my mother in San Jose. 

 

So many stories touched me this day.  The most important part of this whole day: was to sit across the table from these amazing family members and listen to them remember, to look at a pictures and come together at the same time with who it was, or just to laugh at themselves in those pictures.  I have to say, for being the newest member of the family that does not speak a lick of Portuguese, I am very proud be a part of the De Silva family.  

 

Thank you everyone for coming, and thank you for welcoming my family into the family after 55 years!